The best news all day was knowing I was leaving. It was also the saddest news all day. Is it strange that I'm so conflicted about leaving these girls? This place? This feeling of being in the protective palm of God's hand while I'm here? Now I go back out into the world and adjust. "I'm only in here 7 days," I tell myself. It can't be that much of a shock to my system. Yet every time... it just is. Every time I think about those girls who have spent not days, but months and years behind bars and then are released to endure the shock. I don't expect anyone else to understand that hasn't been here.
I have thought about the contrast of things in here and how it's helped me appreciate how good I have it on the outs. I am thankful that God has given us opposites so we can see the good.
Just as many of the girls have connected jail to being their safe place, the temple is mine. In jail they are kept from (or protected from) their temptations. They count on being fed, having housing, and are taken care of. They are not really free though. They can't come and go as they please. They don't have agency to choose.
The temple opens possibilities up. By living the standards that make it possible to hold a temple recommend, I'm given more agency. Like the song says, "Keep the commandments..... In this there is safety. In this there is peace."
While I was in the temple today I put names of my new friends on the temple prayer roll. That means that hundreds of people that come through the temple will be praying over those names. Individual daughters of God in this journey back to him. Rachel. Tuck. Robin. Dani. Pam. Netty. These girls that He desperately misses having a connection to, are now being prayed for within the walls of the temple. I know He will answer those prayers on behalf of those girls. I can only hope they are ready to receive those answers and blessings.